Category: Cyber Mummy
Last week I shared with you the first five tips to successful flexible working, here are my last 5.
6. Suggest a trial period. If your organisation or boss isn’t feeling the vibe of flexible working, it’s up to you to demonstrate that you can make it work, rather than them saying it can’t. Suggest you implement the new pattern on a temporary basis if your boss isn’t completely agreeable from the off. Take this as your opportunity to demonstrate how you can make the flexible pattern work for all.
7. Flexible should mean flexible. Be prepared to do the occasional different day / swap days / work an afternoon instead of a morning if it is required on occasion, perhaps to attend a meeting that can’t be moved to another time, or to cover for someone else who may have similar family demands. Whilst your boss should appreciate that this would be an exception rather than the norm, being seen to be willing may go in your favour, and could help your boss or a colleague down the line, which of course makes it easier for your should your plans need to change at any time.
8. Consider how technology can support a flexible working pattern. Not suitable for all jobs but if possible, emails can be checked from home on a laptops / mobile device; some organisations now have remote login access to work servers from your own home PC. Being able to do some of your working time from home can save on commute time, therefore may allow you to work a longer / staggered day.
9. Be realistic about what is possible. Flexible working in practice can be a fantastic motivator for any working parent, and usually engagement and productivity improves also as a result. But be realistic. Can you financially afford to reduce your hours? Will your workload reduce / shift in line with any change in hours, or will you simply find yourself squeezing a full time job into a reduced pattern, thus resulting in slippage in quality or increased pressure on yourself?
10. Flexible working doesn’t equal giving up a career. It’s a common misconception that those who work part time, or around their family aren’t interested in progressing their career. Be clear with your boss as to what any request to work flexibly means to you. If this does mean you wish to dilute some of your responsibilities, be honest. But equally if you still want to be considered for future opportunities which others might naturally discount you from, state this from the off.
Good Luck!
Guest post by Julie-Ann Murphy of www.supermummy.co.uk
A little over two years ago, we got together to see if we could run an online course. We created a short 6 week course to help small business owners use social media to promote and develop their businesses. The course was a success, people taking part learnt new skills and how to apply them to get results. So, we improved and developed the course, until it became the ACE Online Business course.
Since then, over 50 business owners have taken part in ACE Online Business, the definitive 12 month programme for Online Business Success. And now, we are giving you ONE LAST CHANCE to join them and learn exactly what you need to do to for your business to make much more money online.
If you are frustrated by lack of sales, baffled by blogging for your business, or wondering just HOW people make money from Twitter or Facebook, this course is for you. You’ll get lessons every week to your inbox, plus a resource-packed members area. Follow the lessons, complete the actions, and you’ll find more followers and see more sales.
Why are we closing the course? We only have limited time to run courses, and we have LOTS of ideas for new training courses. SO, in case you have missed out so far, you have one final chance to take part in ACE Online Business and transform your online business presence and sales.
If you join ACE Online Business today, you’ll learn exactly what you need to do to make money from an online business. Suzy Greaves calls it, “… a brilliant step by step course on online marketing”. Follow the link to find out more about what’s in the course and what some of the members have achieved.
And … in case you are wondering if you can afford ACE Online Business, there is a big discount this time, as we want as many people as possible to get the benefit of the course. Course members have already made their investment back many times over. Visit the site to find out just how affordable Online Business Success could be.
This is some of us, and a few years out of date. The youngest is now taller than me!
As part of Family Week on The American Resident I thought I’d share some stories about having a big, blended family.
I have a big family by most standards. There’s 5 kids and two permanent boyfriends (one will soon be a son-in-law–and no I am definitely not old enough to be a mother-in-law), and of course my husband and I. We’re lucky that our blended family all get on so well. The kids all call each other brother and sister, even if they aren’t related by blood. And it’s a party whenever we’re all together, there’s so many of us. But it’s not always easy having such a large family.
You can imagine the table booking issues we have.
The youngest’s birthday is really near Christmas and one year we decided to go to a restaurant.
“You’re too late to book a Christmas Party,” the helpful lady said.
“No, it’s not a–it’s my daughter’s birthday, and this is just the close family, believe it or not. With two boyfriends.”
“Oh. Well it’s still a large group.”
‘Yes, but we won’t be a wild and crazy office party. It’s just a family group.” Somehow we got a table. It wasn’t because I charmed her. In fact, I think she wanted to teach me a lesson about pushing for the table because when we arrived we had several tables of varying sizes in the middle of the walk way (I kid you not) between the loos and the office party section. And the food was terrible even though I had lunch there two weeks previously and had the best Caesar Salad I ever had. Oh well. The lesson was learned and we haven’t gone to a restaurant since for the youngest’s birthday.
We take up most of the row at a cinema.
Which is fine because then it’s not so bad if you have to get up in the middle of the movie and move past all the people in the row. But it means we don’t often go to the cinema as a family because booking the whole row can be expensive.
Flying presents certain challenges.
When we all go away on holiday I spend several anxious hours:
a) not only trying to get all the schedules correct (working around a lot of other plans and commitments), but also trying to get all the passport names correct, and often I start this process without actually having the passports in front of me so I have to wait until I get them and start again (not all the children are mine from day one so I can be forgiven for needing the passports).
b) trying to get seats together in the right combinations and waiting for confirmation.
Once we flew to Biarritz on Ryanair. You can’t book seats on Ryanair. As some of the kids were under a certain age we were allowed to move towards the front of the queue. But because all the kids are quite tall (the boy is now 17 and 6’7″), even the ones who were well under the age limit for expedited boarding, we instantly had the hatred of all the other passengers because we dared to be cheeky enough to ‘push in front’. One way guaranteed to make enemies in Britain is to push in front of a queue. I felt like getting out passports to show everyone the kids’ ages.
We stuck to our guns though, because the kids were nervous and I wanted to make sure we all got to sit next to each other. We did. We survived the stares of the other passengers and the other passengers survived us pushing in front.
On the return flight we got to the airport early and were able to get all lined up right at the very front. I simply didn’t want to have the ‘pushing to the front’ experience again (the return flight to Britain had potential to be full of British).
Through the large, clean plate glass window/doors we saw the plane taxi to the middle of the tarmac in front of us. We waited. When it was time we stood and queued up. I beamed with success. We would be first on the plane and we would all sit together and no one would punish us with Stares.
The big plate glass door slid open and the stewardess said we could go to the plane so I nudged the youngest and said “Lets go!” she bolted forward obediently just as the plate glass door slid closed for some reason. She crashed into the door, her forehead making an almighty noise. The stewardess freaked, apologised profusely and tried to pull us to one side so we could see a medic. All I could think about was our careful plan to get on the plane first.
“No!” I said, or maybe shouted, “she’s fine.” Fortunately youngest was too shocked to cry. I had gone through the injuries of too many kids to worry about a bump, and I had my eye on all the seats we needed to claim. We all bolted across the tarmac and got on the plane. And no, the youngest was not concussed. In fact, it’s a story she likes to retell frequently.
Sometimes people aren’t sure what to say
We were all in Minnesota walking around the Renaissance Festival. For those who don’t know, this is an event meant to sort of re-enact the Fairs of the English Middle Ages. So long as you attend with a light heart, you’ll have fun. We loved it, in spite of the anxieties of some of our American friends that we would think it was ridiculous.
Anyway. One of the random jolly comedians of indeterminate Tudorbethan era started his act ‘Flirting With the Mother in the Group’ and after rolling out a few stock flirtations he asked which of the kids were mine.
“All are mine,” I said.
He looked straight at my hips. Seriously.
“No, they didn’t all come from there,” I said. The girls all giggled and turned red. And I think he was surprised too but he rallied.
“Well I thought you were too young to have had so many, m’lady!” They don’t make jesters like they used to. (And technically, I am not too young to have had all of them, but at least he tried.)
Arkansas vs. England
One of my favourites was when I went to visit my family in Texas. It was just my husband, the youngest and I.
My Texan family hadn’t met the new half of my English family yet so I thought I would make a video. I went round the house filming the kids smiling, giggling, being vaguely embarrassed but trying ever so hard to be polite for my sake. There was a boyfriend (long gone) also present. He had an icky habit of clinging to my (step)daughter.
I was introducing them all: there’s three girls plus the one that came with me, and a boy. Then the clingy boyfriend.
My sister-in-law, Sandra (name changed) was getting confused. I can see why. The girls all looked similar when younger and the two boys (brother and the clingy boyfriend) were similar size, both with dark hair in the same longish, mopish style. I kept calling out names as different kids came into view in an effort to keep the audience straight. Then we came to a scene where the girls were all sitting on a sofa and the clingy boyfriend was being especially clingy and he nuzzled in for a kiss on my (step)daughter’s neck.
“WOAH!” said Sandra, “and that’s her brother?!” The disgust was all over her face. I was about to launch into a rehash of the introductions to help her, but was quickly interrupted by my nephew who was right on track with who was who on my video.
“Hell Sandra, it’s England not Arkansas. That’s her boyfriend.”
Well it can be confusing with such a large family, but no, we’re definitely not like that.
Apologies to any Arkansans, that was Texas humour for you 
* * *
Don’t forget to check out my competition for an Emma Bridgewater notebook to keep your To Do Lists in, keeping your family/life straight!
On holiday, visiting Cragside in Northumberland.
PS I always type (step)child like that because I think of them as more than just step-children.
Image by photostock
Working from home and around your family can mean that spending some time doing something for you can be the last thing on your mind. But it is important that you do take out time for yourself so you don’t burn out. It may even make you more productive as you feel better in yourself.
So what would you class as me time? A long soak in the bath with no interruptions, a walk with the dog (multi-tasking!) or maybe a night out with friends?
There are lots of ways of spending your me time but here are a few examples you might like to try:
- Cinema. Since having your family, I bet the last film you saw was a children’s film? Well why not go out with you partner or friends and see a film that doesn’t involve animation or multiple trips to the toilet!
- Book a beauty treatment. Why not book yourself in for a massage or a facial, a great way to unwind and relax and you are bound to come home feeling calmer and more in control.
- Bingo. Have you played bingo lately? With the wonders of modern technology, you can now play online with some of the big names of bingo such as Mecca Bingo and Gala Bingo . Or if you fancy a fun and different night out with the girls, why not take a trip to your local bingo hall. Not only is it fun, you may also win some money too!
Here are just some examples of how you could spend your me time. If you have any other fun ways you spend time to yourself to recharge, please do share them below.
Brought to you by Bingo Port.
The theme this week on The American Resident is Things I Love (you can see by now that I’m working my way through the categories). First up is not simply books, as you can see in the photo, but a specific type of books, or writing. And speaking.
I love BBC English.
I know: outdated. And I know that only people who have lived in Britain or been born here will know what I’m talking about when I say it’s outdated.
When I was at university in Minnesota I had a class on voice/accent as part of my Public Speaking minor. In this class we learned how to develop a General American accent, which is the one you hear newsreaders use because it is the most neutral across all the American dialects. Ok, the same happens (or, happened) in Britain and it is often called a BBC accent or BBC English. It might not be quite so general, and might sway a little closer to the posh accent, (and I say ‘might’ on purpose because I’m not sure but it might). Anyway, it is slightly clipped, and very, very clear and it isn’t all about the way it is said but also what is said. The way words are put together.
I love old BBC footage where all the presenters use this. Today, the PC thing is to have representatives of different British dialects all over the TV stations. Which is fine, and lovely and quite right I am sure. But I still love the old BBC accent.
And I love it when I come across this way of speaking/writing in novels. My favourite Agatha Christie novels are the Miss Marple ones. Miss Marple does this. I was recently given a couple of Len Deighton novels to read and withn a few pages of opening The Ipcress File, I was struck by the discovery that I had found yet another example of it. The Ipcress File is filled with understatement (oh, the English do this so well!) and subtlety. I would love to write like Deighton:
Ross, the man I had come to see, looked up from the writing that had held his undivided attention since three seconds after I had entered the room. Ross said, ‘Well now,’ and coughed nervously. Ross and I had come to an arrangement of some years’ standing–we had decided to hate each other. Being English, this vitriolic relationship manifested itself in oriental politeness.
‘Take a seat. Well now, smoke?’ I had told him ‘No thanks’ for two years at least twice a week. The cheap inlay cigarette box (from Singapore’s change alley market) with the butterflies of wood grain, was wafted across my face.
Ross was a regular officer; that is to say he didn’t drink gin after 7.30 p.m. or hit ladies without first removing his hat. He had a long thin nose, a moustache like flock wallpaper, sparse, carefully combed hair, and complexion of a Hovis loaf.
The study of linguistics is not an area I claim to be an expert in, but I do love interesting dialects and different ways of saying things. Dialects and turn of phrase often (always?) go hand in hand. For example, I can tell a person from the Southern United States even in print because of the distinctive way they phrase things. (I love Southern US writing and speaking as well as BBC English.)
Any other books written with BBC English you could recommend?
Anyone else have a favoruite accent, or way of speaking?
Off to a new life as a long term expat… or is that an immigrant?
I love discussion. Argument is boring, but reasoned, thoughtful discussion can be fascinating, enlightening and stimulating. I love it when people discuss a topic in the comments sections of blogs, checking back to reply to each other–how cool is that to be the blogger to start a discussion! I love it when a dinner party opens up a new discussion, just before the wine starts making everyone silly. I love a good discussion (not a good gossip) over coffee with friends.
Discussion is how we learn new ways of thinking, expanding and exercising our minds.
One of my favourite discussions on my previous blog, Mid-Atlantic English, was the difference between expats and immigrants–or more specifically, long term expats (like me) and immigrants. I have updated and rewritten that post and sent it over to my monthy column at Expat Focus to see what other expats think… and hopefully there will be a discussion. But there were a few strong opinions in the comments of my last post, so lets hope it doesn’t turn into argument.
Pop over to What’s the difference between Expats and Immigrants? on Expat Focus and add your thoughts to the discussion! I’m really curious what you will have to say!!
I love giving prizes. No, I’m not talking gold-catsuit-on-the-Formula-1-podium-while-drivers-spray-champagne-everywhere style prize giving (those days are behind me), but just the regular make-someone-smile-because-they-won-a-little-blog-comp type of prize giving. How appropriate then that the day I announce the winner of the Emma Bridgewater notebook falls in the week of Things I Love on The American Resident.
And because I love giving prizes, there will be more comps on this blog this year…stay tuned! What’s next? I can’t decide–either chocolate or tea. What do you think?
So the winner…
Tammy, from Grown Up Now What. Tammy is a former expat in the UK and her comments here are fun to read as she recalls her own expat memories, but even more fun is her blog where she is Searching for Direction & Purpose in Life’s Sea of Opportunities. Go see what she’s discovering, and say hi from me!
Your family can affect your home insurance policy in all kinds of ways, from over-active kids causing havoc to students moving their belongings to another property. It’s important to keep your insurer up-to-date about anything that could affect your cover needs – these include new pets, babies and other additional people in your home, such as lodgers, as well as when people leave the property. You should check with an insurance provider such as Castle Cover if you are unsure.
Pets and toddlers alike pose one of the biggest accidental damage risks to your home. If you live in a hectic house, it may be worth checking your policy to ensure everything is covered, extending your accidental damage cover and consider lowering your excess (the amount you have to pay toward a claim before the insurer steps in) to account for the increased risk.
This may mean you pay more for your premiums, but it will be worth it if you have a lot of expensive electrical gadgets in your house – something that’s particularly common if you have children and teenagers around! MP3 players, cameras, smartphones and games consoles can add up to thousands of pounds’ worth of items in your home, so be sure to keep your insurance policy up to date to reflect this.
When your children leave the nest and get their own place at university, it’s important to make sure their belongings are insured too. Some policy providers will allow you to continue covering their property even while they’re living at a new temporary residence, but check the details of this as some restrictions may apply. Extending your own cover may be cheaper than arranging dedicated student insurance.
One facet of family insurance that sometimes gets overlooked is family legal protection. This offers cover and advice if you or a member of your family is involved in a legal dispute, whether it’s related to property, employment or personal injury. As well as paying out for the cost of hiring a lawyer, these policies also often provide a 24-hour helpline to help you navigate the tricky legal landscape.
D, 10, is very decided about the sort of books she likes. Each book has to compete with sports, TV, computer games like Club Penguin, Bin Weevils and Moshi Monsters, arts, crafts, fashion … she is a girl with many interests. In this post I’m going to share a few books that she has read and liked.
First, cookbooks. D loves cooking and she has more cookbooks I think than your average 10 year old. She’s ambitious too. Right now she wants to cook thinks from Marshmallow Madness!: Dozens of Puffalicious Recipes
Still on the baking theme, the latest fiction book to get D’s seal of approval, (Can I take it to school for my reading book mum?) is The Bliss Bakery book
It is a perfect combination of family story, baking and magic … and it looks like there are going to be three in the series which is great news. 
So, that’s what D likes at the moment: what are your girls reading? Share your book recommendations please, and I’ll be back next week with what J, 6 loves to read.
Have you always wanted to hear Antonia speak at a conference? Well here is your chance to Antonia speak about how to ‘Be Outstanding’.
Antonia is one of the headline speakers the the Ladies at 11 Conference which is being held at Salomons, Tunbridge Wells on Wenesday 25th March 2012 from 8.15 till 17.00.
Other speakers include Katy Day talking about her top ten tips for women in business, Amy Taylor on accounts and tax, Sue Brown speaks about getting focuses, Laura Hart about the working voice and Katie King on social media.
There will also be exhibitors on the day along with lots of opportunities to network with other like minded business women.
To book now and get a ticket at the early bird price of £45 instead of £60 visit Ladies at 11 now. This fantastic price includes lunch and refreshments as well.
Book now to avoid disappointment.